Automatic cocktail machines are silly, but also kind of fun. Here's how to choose between the Bartesian and Barsys devices.

The machine on my kitchen table is a holy device, if your definition of “holy” is that it looks like a glowing halo and it’s filled with spirits. The machine has taken up a task I consider sacred: making me a cocktail. In advance of holiday party season, I have been testing a pair of devices that promise an indulgent future, a life where machines can make you a passable Old Fashioned.

The best-known cocktail machine on the market is almost certainly the Bartesian, the easy-peasy Keurig of cocktail makers. The circular device on my table is the Barsys 360, a Day-Glo device with a bit more flair for the dramatic.

Right now the Barsys is making me an Oaxaca Old Fashioned, but it could have been any of literally 2,000 other drinks, if I only had the ingredients. Among “Oaxaca” drinks alone we potentially ...